YINZ SHOULD READ THIS N'AT

I can just throw in the towel now on all y’all thinking I am educated. Granted I went to a four-year school, have a degree and some change, and a full-time job (that doesn’t require working in the summer), but I come from a city where we sound dumb. No, not the south. I KID. Dear God, it’s me, Margret (or Torrie). If I could have a southern accent, that’d be swell. I’m almost 25 and having that for my birthday would be just like sweet tea on a hot summer day down by the water in my favorite little [insert cute southern town]. No? Not possible? Shit.

I don’t really have an accent. I may or may not (read: may) play with different accents in my classroom, as a tactic I like to call “confuse your students,” but for the most part, I’m pretty straight and narrow. No twang, no y’alls, and……no yinz.

Raise your hand, class, and tell me if you know where “yinz” came from. No one? Awesome. You fail.

It’s Pittsburgh. The town where we have a lot of super bowl rings (so I’m told), our hockey team is actually pretty good looking (oh and they do pretty well on the ice, too) and no one knows we have a baseball team….and if they do, it’s because they laugh at us. We’ll get ‘em next year, boys! Oh, it’s only the start of baseball season? Ok, well....we’ll get ‘em next year, boys!

I had to write a paper in college on the topic of dialect. My grammar professor basically forced me to write about "Pittsburghese" because it “fascinated” her much like the way my students “fascinate” me when they can’t give me an answer (therefore, it is clear that stupidity fascinates us.) We say things like….

“Yinz goin’ dahntahn ta-night? Yeahs, yinz goin’ to tha SausSide?”  -- Which can be read as “Are you all going downtown tonight? Oh, lovely, are you perhaps all going to the SouthSide of Pittsburgh?”

Or maybe something like…..”Did jeet jet?” is really just a lovely Pittsburgher asking, “Did you eat yet?” and then that said Pittsburgher will probably ask you to get a “Primanny Sammich” which is a delicacy that looks like this.

Yes, fries in the sandwich. Coleslaw, too.
We call it “Primanti’s” for those of us who do not speak this native tongue.
It’s a Pittsburgh original and, well, it’s damn good!

 

Other phrases or words include (but are certainly not limited to):

-Crick (creek)
-Gumbands (rubber bands)
-N'at (...and that)
-Slippy (slippery)
-Jagoff (a loser, a douche, etc.)
-Jynt Igle (Giant Eagle, a local grocery store)

 

My sister’s boyfriend really drove my nickname home by saying, in his best Pittsburgher voice, “Toooorrrre” – and it just doesn’t do it justice if you can’t truly hear the magic behind this wonderfully awful accent. Therefore, I have no choice but to leave you with a video of a man who, by definition, IS a Pittsburgh Dad. Once you watch this clip, feel free towatch more of them on YouTube. It is a quintessential example of how Pittsburgh people are. (& yes, we totally bought my dad a Pittsburgh Dad shirt for Father's Day. We're stellar, upstanding kiddos, obviously!)

This is holiday themed but far too funny to pass up!
GO GO GADGET -- check out the other Pittsburgh Dad videos for a good Friday laugh!

 

It should be noted that I, in fact, live outside in a suburban area, a solid 25 minutes from the city, which could very well explain my lack of this gloriously eloquent accent. Still, consider yourself smarter and far more cultured now for having learned about this beauteous dialect!

 

 

See YINZ at the next storm,

 

T

SPRING UNIFORM (NOT FOR SCHOOL)

When I'm not teaching, I like to play the casual card harrrrd. I'm not a huge jeans fan (and putting them on right after lotion? I think I just vommed in my mouth), don't really appreciate tight t-shirts (sorry boys), and if I feel at all constricted by my clothing choices, then you'll really see what this TOR-nado can do!

It's really not so much a casual factor as it is a hide-in-plain view factor. I see a lot of students (or they see ME) out and about on weekends, and I like to play the whole  "IS that my teacher? Can't be...." game -- it usually works, hat and sunglasses included. Until you're at an IKEA that's wayyy outside your school district and you come to school on Monday to a student who says, "Hey, I saw you looking awfully lost at IKEA. At least it looked just like you." In that moment, I wished for a "No, that was my twin" moment, but alas, he's a boy....and that'd just make it weird.

ANYWHO -- with spring sort of, kind of here (Mother Nature, no thanks to you!), I have developed a bit of a uniform for my off-hours and it took me just about every day of my teacher-spring-break (which has less than half of the alcohol of a college one but twice as much sleeping!) to realize I was recycling the same options. It goes a little something like this -- cue the Polyvore set!

1. The basic of any off-teacher-torrie mode is a pair of black leggings. Yes, as, uh, pants. Here's the thing....well, we'll get to the thing in a second! I mean, they're 2/$10 at F21, so I buy in bulk like it's Costco for leggings!
2. A slouchy tank that hangs low and runs long (to save me from any potential "those aren't pants!" people giving me dirty sneers and glares.) I like a good, simple graphic on mine - nothing too basic, but nothing too loud. I'm loud enough on my own, folks...
3. A low-cut boot. I have the ones on the far left, want the red ones baaaad, and the middle pair is a classic Sam Edelman creation. I usually opt for heels/wedges even in my off-hours, but if I'm strolling the mall or walking the streets of the city (to really only stop by LUSH), then these boots are my fashionably comfortable choice.
4. Considering we haven't hit full-blown 60-70s every day weather, a nice jacket or bright scarf are both functional and fashionable choices. I have a jacket that resembles the top right (mine is leather with army green sleeves, though), and scored a sweater tunic similar to the one on the bottom right (mine is teal and black, though). Either topper is my go-to choice, so long as I'm not hanging out with the same person who saw me in it last (the horror!.....buuuuut we all do it!)
5. Love adding a headband to not only keep my flyaways at bay, but it adds a nice could-wear-to-coachella touch, especially if it's all floral like the one above (they sell them at UO for $16 and I swear I can pull it off in a cheaper DIY version! Later blog post? Mehh, if my DIY girl ever comes out of indefinite hiding....)

Obviously I have the occasional denim day or I throw on a maxi to go to dinner, but if it's a casual weekend day? You best believe this girl is in leggings! I'm never one to wear sweats in public, so this is my casual look at its best. It's a put together look without making me feel stuffy. Also, I try not to look like a total vagabond when out in pubic in the off chance a student (with their parents always in tow) wins at the "IS that my teacher?!" game (this happens more often than I'd like to admit!)

What are YOUR favorite go-to options?

This clothing is stormy weather approved......


-T

BUY YOUR SILVER LINING...

I tweet-twatted recently about being conflicted over whether or not I should start a new series or just read a stand-alone novel after dragging my feet through Fifty Shades (ok, not dragging, but I was not as impressed as I was hoping to be!) A friend tweeted back to me and said, “You could just watch TV…”

The horror!!

I had to respond in a very well-thought-out-but-not-too-pretentious way, of course.

So I hit reply and said, “You know, that’s like eating McDonald’s when I really want filet mignon.”

& just like that, I impressed someone in less than 140 characters.

& that’s how it’s done. (Only one person can truly appreciate this statement…here’s looking at you, kid!)

Putting aside my slightly loquacious introduction, I started a stand-alone novel.

Enter: Silver Linings Playbook

Raise your hand if you didn’t know this was a book before it became the reason J.Law has an Oscar…..

Yeah, I didn’t either. (Oh, you did? Pshh, that's cool, I guess, whatever....)

This review will be quite short. I don’t have much to say about this book except….

YOU NEED TO GO AND BUY IT.

OR TORRENT IT LIKE A PIRATE.

OR STEAL BORROW IT FROM YOUR FRIEND’S E-BOOK ACCOUNT.

Seriously…life changing.
Not in the freshly purchased-LUSH-products kind of way.
& not in the I-just-bought-a-Tory-Burch-for-no-reason kind of way.
& not in the did-he-really-just-do-that-with-that-oh-wow kind of way.
In a deeply-connected-can’t-forget-these-feelings-ever kind of way.

The kind of book that makes you upset it’s over. & oddly enough, shortly after I finished it, someone sent me this in a text, as if the cosmic universe knew my pain and wanted me to be fully aware of my pathetic wallows.

I can easily (no I can’t, that’s a lie) put my English-teacher-book-loving-nerd aside to say anyone can appreciate the magic in this book. It’s layered and emotional and funny and clever and I found myself being completely enraptured by lines like, “[she] thought everyone should be forced to read The Bell Jar,” which is so ridiculously true….just like everyone should be forced to read this.

I am excited to see the movie, but I heard it’s not a solid representation of the book. My fingers (and toes) are crossed then when I finally do see it, it at least holds the same emotions that the book exudes, because damnit, I’d love to have those feelings back again.


Go find them for yourself.

Go read.

Until the next reading storm rolls in….(where I start an actual series and it's also turned into a movie....ridonc.)

-T

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM...

After a failed attempt at making a teacher blog….hey, I rarely have time to turn lesson plans in on the day they’re due!

After a year (ok, over a year) of not updating this blog….hey, I rarely have time to turn lesson plans in on the day they’re due (ok, fair, that argument doesn’t work here).

I have been missing this bloggy-dog world. What’s a girl to do? Attempt to make a mash-up blog of just life in general, with teaching stories, random outburst of free verse poetry, photos of fashion and celebrities, and other life stories that should never be shared with your friends let alone online strangers? Yeah, let’s all laugh at the stupidity of that.

….but then actually create that kind of virtual space.

Here’s one last ditch effort….I call it “The Tornado”

Why? Well, a year ago, I hated country. No, really. Hate is a word I know how to use, and use it sparingly. I don’t hate many things. Aside from cilantro; that is the devil weed. I digress…

I now, in fact, lurrrve those country tunes. Not all of them, because some of it makes my ears bleed and my neck do this weird cringe/twitch thing, but Carrie Underwood? Hello, she’s gorgeous. Zac Brown Band? If you look like Duck Dynasty and can sing me to sleep, you win. Hunter Hayes, Luke Bryan, and Eric Chruch? Oh hello, hot men in tight clothes. (Granted, HH is really a boy…a guy…not yet a man). OK, to the point. I thoroughly enjoy songs that equate women to natural disasters. ZBB’s “Natural Disaster” (duh) being right up there…in good company with Little Big Town’s “Tornado.” Sometimes, I get into these mood swings where it really is like a human tornado. The first three letters of my name match the first three letters of tornado….and the rest….is too long to explain.

As of late, I’ve realized my life really is all over the place. That sounds a bit overdramatic and woah-is-me, but I assure you I mean it with the best and most positive of intentions…sort of. At times, it seems like the ground is spinning along with my head and I feel as though I’m reliving my college days of having the spins at 3am (which I actually loved, which I know is weird, and I’ll stop saying which now.) Other times, I’m left with enough down time to drive through the city, get stuck in traffic for over two hours, and not even get mad at the people trying to cut everyone else off because I’m just that happily bored content to be out and engaged with the world. Yeah, that blonde girl in the Kia Soul smiling while the two burly men behind me are flicking everyone else off who passes in the lane that should be closed? Thata…would be me!

As I start this blog, I am not yet 25 but am relishing in the final weeks of being 24. A lot has happened in a year and more will continue to happen, both the good and the super ugly. I choose to document those moments, as potentially self-deprecating as that sounds, for you all.

My readers of Superficial Sanctuary seemed to enjoy the random outburst that I called “Teacher Rants” (or better known as, “Remind me again why I pay school loans every month?”), so this blog is just that. No, not the teacher blog. Been there, failed at that (or just came down with laziness). Random outbursts of life.  My life. The one where I’m almost a quarter of a century old. Putting it that way makes it sound…..well, I’ll just bask in the light of the fact my middle school students think I look twelve, and THAT, my blogging friends, is really all that matters!

Grab a drink – you are more than welcome to stay awhile! Just don’t be surprised if I sneak out before you even have the chance to wake up….

-T